This man 1 never saw before

At 3 A.M. breaks down the door

To tell me my aspirin is LSD.

"It says right there on the bottle,

Acetylsalicylic Acid."

I tell you doctor, honestly,

It seems like someone's after me.


I don't think fighting is what I'm made for

But this lottery ticket I never paid for

Sold by a pusher known as Sam

Has won me a ticket to Vietnam,

A twelve months, expenses paid, tropical vacation

With a funeral, free, from a grateful nation.

But the doctor says I need therapy

For thinking someone is after me.


And then there are things I just can't ignore

Like the little man in our bedroom door

Says we'll be in jail by the end of the night

Unless we turn over and do it right.

Doctor, Doctor, come and see

There's really someone after me.


Then he asks, as he rips off the sheet,

For our marriage license and tax receipt;

Says "you need a license to shoot at a duck

How come you think that it's free to . . ."

Who so blind as will not see;

The state, the state, is after me.

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